Nicki Minaj 08 | 01 | 2014


the british government is comprised of the House of Ministers and Inn of the Lords. a lord is worth two votes while a minister makes tuppence. it is illegal not to be a minister. the queen can be summoned to the Chamber of Secrets by a consensus of lords and chamberlains, where she will execute a Hun and address grievances until she is beheaded or is called away by a Privy Chancellor.. every sunday there is a duel between the tories and the papists. a whig is permitted twenty votes, but only once a year. the “prime minister” is formed when the two Jammiest Bastards in the parliament share a wig at all times and speak with the same voice. half of the lords belong to the “shadow party” and are therefore immune to poisons but take double damage from fire and sun magic   


cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?

me: sure do! 8:15

cute girl on the street: thanks 

me: so what are we?



crunch munch

wtf why don’t floating skulls come to my feeders?? am I using the wrong blend of seeds? what mix am I supposed to use to get floating skulls?


I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit


Who wrote this


Jana Sterbak, ‘Sisyphus Sport’, 1997


i walk a lonely road the only one that i have ever known


tbh i think straight girls appreciate girls more than straight boys do